this post is supposed to be posted ytd when i was about to slp. i have quite alot to write.

hmm. i've just came back frm thai+china+vietnam. the trip is around 16 days and i have about 1600 photos. haha.. i have not even select them, some ppl ardy ask for it liao. so if u ask me if it was fun, i'll answer you that it is and it is tiring as well. =x

speaking of yesterday, someone actually jio me to zouk. i had considered going because i've nv go there before but i was held back by the timing i'll reach home. i guess it would most probably be after 6am. then, i'll spend the next 10 hours in coma. i'll wake up at 5pm and the whole day will be gone~! this is definitely not worth. i now prefer day time to night time. the day is more beautiful than the night. during the day, it is bright and cheerful while it is chilly and dark in the night. also, i was not in good mood for some reasons. anyway, i feel that to learn to drink will be useful in the future but i just dont have the 'passion' for drinking because the tastes suck. hahaha.



突然很想念她。在VCH 里， 我总是在中间，拥有两位姐姐的呵护。我简直就是受宠若惊。更重要的是，我隐约记得，惠乐观的话总是能够轻易减少我的悲观想法。因该是因为我太相信她的话了，认为她的话真的都会成真。能轻易左右我的思想的人应该可称为Soul Mate吧。可惜，从此以后因该再也不会拥有这位Soul Mate了。不过，我也开心地知道我的悲观不会成为她的赘累。现在的我活得蛮痛苦的。不知道还要闷多久我才会罹患忧郁症。如果她还在身边，该有多好……

她是温室里的花我记得；她是家里的掌上明珠我记得；她的一些习惯我也记得。我忘记的是我对她的依赖和她对我的好。


至于颖，我很高兴她还是我的‘女朋友’。但是我还真的有点被她带坏了。她没有主见的态度真是影响了我。我现在过着没有目标、得过且过的生活，我也无所谓。可我还是得说她的影响不是完全促使这一切的原因。
还有，她真的真的是迟到大王，我甘拜下风。我想我还是少一点约她出门以免要我当个白痴，痴痴地等。


明天还是决定约亦专吃个午餐并顺便递送我买的礼物。本来也问了丽璇，但幸好她没能来。我想应该是自卑感在作祟，我正自我隔离，不想见任何人。但礼物总是不能白买啊。就这样吧。

这些点点滴滴大鸟都不知道。单单自我隔离的做法他就不能体谅。我想很多人也不能了解吧。这我都知道。可是，让我十分不满的是他竟然以这个来‘指责’我。我连我的情绪都不能妥善处理就更不需要他的唠叨。感觉上似乎是要逼迫我跟随他的‘标准’想法；像是在传教。我厌恶这些‘忠告’。还有，他好像越来越依赖我了。这是个不好的征兆！爱情包括对爱人的依赖。我现正背负一些担子，不需要他的依赖来加重。反之，我更需要有人让我依赖呢。